Akatsuki FAQ
by Toasty G
Summary: Fans ask questions, and the boys and girl tell all! [Yaoi, yesplz][No more reviews, Kthxbye.]
1. FAQ! Round one!

**Wahoo! First Chapter! I'm excited, aren't you?**

**Disclaimer – All Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And I'm also 'gonna give a shout-out to akatsuki's-fangirl, because she originally had this brilliant idea. Kudos to you, A-F! **

**FYI, Tobi will always speak in the 3rd person (or whatever) in this fic, because it sounds cute.**

This is Zetsu's white side speaking (AKA White-san)

_**This is Zetsu's black side speaking (AKA Black-san**___

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Tobi, **

**I've always wondered, why do you keep that mask on?**

**-sasunarulove01**

Dear sasunarulove01,

If Tobi told you, Tobi would have to get Deidei-sempai _Deidara- STOP CALLING ME THAT _toblow you up with a pretty lil' clay birdie….Just Kidding! Tobi is too much of a good boy to do that! Honestly, Tobi really doesn't know…teehee…

-Tobi

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**To Deidara-sempai**

**I have some questions for you.**

**Number 1: Are you worried that your hands might try to molest you in your sleep? I would be worried...**

**Number 2: You killed Gaara right? You know he was brought back to live right?**

**Number 3: Even though I'm positive you are a guy...are you a guy?**

**And, well it's not really a question but, Tobi is cool! Stop being mean to him! Oh, and you wanna kill Sasuke right? Tell me the time and place, and I will come and take fun in the action :)**

**From: Taya**

**P.S. I think that you are...(blushes) kinda hot...**

Dear Taya,

1.) Between you and me, they have, yeah (_shudders_)

2.)(_proudly_) Yeah, I di-**WAIT, HE WHAT?** Ah, _dammit_, yeah.

3.)Totally, yeah. They just say I'm a girl because they're jealous that I'm prettier-**I MEAN, **HANDSOMER, than them, yeah.

Tobi is NOT COOL! He's **ANNOYING**! _Tobi-_ _Awww, Deidei-sempai!_ STOP CALLING ME THAT! Yes…I **DO** want to kill Sasuke, yeah. AND NO ONE BETTER FUCKING BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE, YEAH!

Oh, and thanks, yeah. You're probably pretty, too, and you can totally come with me to kill Sasuke, yeah.

-Deidara

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Deidara,**

**1.)Can you give yourself -- with your hands?**

**2.)If your a guy why do you insist on being so effeminate?**

**to Tobi:**

**1.) Whats with the "good boy" thing?**

**-limerence 11**

Dear limerence 11,

1.)Eh….I guess, but I never do _Tobi: Deidei-sempai usually gets Saso-_ TOBI SHUT UP, YEAH blushes

2.)I AM **NOT** EFFEMINATE, YEAH! It just…er…_**seems**_ that way, yeah…

1.)Tobi is a good boy because Zetsu-san said so!

-Deidara & Tobi

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Ok, Kisame,**

**What the hell happened to the 'famous' 7 shinobi swordsmen, Raiga and Zabuza are dead, but there is obviously 4 others, where are they! Just wondering……please answer.**

-priscillaxoxoxox

Dear priscillaxoxoxox,

How the hell am I supposed to know? When I left, they were still there.

-Kisame

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear all,**

**Tobi-where did you get your mask from? Why orange?**

**Orochimaru- if you could have ANYONE from the cast, of either gender, as your sex-slave who would it be? Why?**

**Kisame-do you dye your hair? **

**A.L- what is the REAL origin of the Akatsuki uniform?**

**Sasori-what is your opinion of Pinocchio?**

**Hidan-do you go knocking door-to-to preach about your religion?**

**Deidara-seriously, are you related to Yamanaka Ino in ANY way?**

**Kakuzu-did you ever study under a Dr. Frankenstein?**

**Blue haired mystery chick-Is it true your only purpose is to provide nightly entertainment?**

**Itachi-boxers of briefs?**

**-Avatarofrage**

Dear Avatarofrage,

Tobi- Tobi got his mask when a guy dropped it. He ran away screaming when he saw Tobi's face _(meany)_ Tobi loves orange!

Orochimaru- Sex…_slave_? Well, If you _must_ know, it would have to be Kabuto. Sasuke's great, but Kabuto-chan has a nice ass _Kabuto: (blushes) Oro-sama!_

Kisame- No. I guess next you'll be asking me if I dye my **SKIN.**

Leader-san- I originally wanted something a lot _nicer_, but Kakuzu _insisted_ that we get cloud-cloaks, because they were on sale at the goodwill store for 35 cents apiece.

Sasori- He's _**UGLY**_. It makes me sad that someone would perform such a time-consuming task as creating a puppet and create such a _monstrosity_. And the way his nose grows looks tacky.

Hidan-Yes. I must have missed your house. _Dammit_…

Deidara- I really don't know…why? Do I look like her? OOH! Does she like art too, yeah?

Kakuzu- No. He wanted _me_ to pay _him_ before he would teach me anything. _He's_ the one who should have paid _me_. It should be considered an _honor_ to teach an S-Ranked criminal like myself.

Blue- Entertainment? _Phht_…Everyone here is _**gay**_. _Tobi: What about leader-san?_ (_blushes_) **W-WHAT?**

Itachi- Briefs. Boxers feel awkward under the cloak.

-All

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Itachi:**

**What's the first thought that comes to you when you hear this : You put the lime in de coconut and shake it all up...?**

**Dear Kisame:**

**Do you like squirrels? What do you think of squirrels?**

**Dear Zetsu:**

**What would you say if I said that I know where you live?**

**Dear Deidara:**

**Is Sasori your pimp? Or is Itachi? How much do you cost?**

**Dear Sasori:**

**Do you have organs?**

**Dear Hidan:**

**Am I annoying? Would you kill me if I did witchcraft in front of you?**

**Dear Kakuzu:**

**Since Hidan is immortal...or whatever...Have you ever thought of selling his organs on the black market?**

**Dear Tobi:**

**Who do you like more...Cookie...or...Creme?**

**-RapistNoJutsu**

Dear RapistNoJutsu,

Itachi- That certain phrase reminds me of the time Kisame and I got wasted in Jamaica _Kisame: WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MENTION THAT EVER AGAIN, REMEMBER?_

Kisame- I **HATE** them. I got attacked by one of those _vermin_ a few weeks ago (_shudders_)

Zetsu- I would simply ask you _**HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?**_ please don't come to my house _**OR I'LL FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE.**_

Deidara- Saso-I MEAN….pimp? What are you talking about, yeah? I'm not for sale,

yeah!

Sasori- (_blushing_) Um…yes…I do have…some…organs…

Hidan- No, you aren't, but if you did all of that _pagan shit_ in front of me, I would have to

disembowel you and send your soul to Jashin-Sama.

Kakuzu- Yes. As a matter of fact, I've already sold his right kidney, his gall bladder, and his small intestine (_but don't tell him, okay?)_

Tobi- Tobi loves BOTH! (_singing_) _Cookies and cream, cookies and cream, Tobi's a little lad who loves cookies and creeaaammm!_ _Deidara: It's __**BERRIES**__, you idiot!_ What's berries?

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Deidara,**

**I love you're kick -- and explosions are the best damn thing on this planet**

**Dear Sasori,**

**Do you like deidara?**

**Dear Itachi,**

**When was the last time you showed emotion?**

**Dear Kisame,**

**Is your mouth seriously cut up from having sharp teeth?**

**Dear Hidan,**

**What does Jashin-sama think of yaoi/yuri relationships?**

**Dear Kakuzu,**

**Why does everyone say your ugly? Personally I think you're hot without the mask and hat thingy.**

**Dear Zetsu,**

**White-san, what's up? Black-san, why are you so mean?**

**Dear Sir-leader,**

**I'm not gonna ask to join but could you like send me pics of all the members:D**

**Flower-chan,**

**Why don't you just turn around?**

**Dear Orochimaru,**

**I don't like you very much**

**Dear Tobi,**

**:D?**

**-akatsuki's-fangirl**

Dear akatsuki's-fangirl,

Deidara- (_grins_) Thanks, yeah! I think they're pretty damn awesome, too, yeah.

Sasori- He's my partner. If I didn't _somewhat_ like him, I would have probably killed him by now _Kisame: Uh, Sasori-san?_ What? _Kisame: I think she means…uh…like, you LIKE like him._ Oh, well, yea-**WAIT…What!?** (_blushes_) n-no…of c-course not…(_nervously_) What would give you _that_ idea?

Itachi - Jamaica, as far as I know (_see above_).

Kisame- Yeah! (_frowns_) **AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL, TOO!**

Hidan- _**WHAT?!?**_ How the fuck did _you_ find out! Those are between me and-**I mean**, what…yaoi/yuri…pairings? (_Dammit_)

Kakuzu? Really? Maybe I should leave 'em off. _Toasty: I THINK YOU'RE HOT, KAKKY-CHAN!!1111ONE..._Uhhh….who are _you_?

Zetsu- Lately, I've been trying to control Black-san's profanity problem. It's rather annoying _**And there's nothing you can do about it, bitch!**_

Leader-san- How do I know you're not a spy? (_suspicious_)

Flower-chan- I'm so pretty, that if I did, _everyone_ on the planet would want to bone me _Tobi: And that wouldn't make Leader-san too happy_ **SHUT THE HELL UP, TOBI!**…..Kidding! I'm just a _little_ shy, is all. Do you really want to see my face that bad?

Orochimaru- (_scoffs_) _Well_, I don't like you either…

Tobi- **:DDD!**

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Kisame, Itachi, and Orochimaru**

**Is ya'll gay? Tell the truth. And if you aren't, do ya'll have girlfriends?**

**-Sheridan**

Dear Sheridan,

Itachi- I plead the fifth. _Toasty: You can't plead the fifth! That's the AMERICAN bill of rights!_ Itachi: I don't care.

Kisame- **I'M NOT GAY, I'M TELLING YOU! NO! NO! NO! **

Orochimaru- _Defensive_, aren't _we_, Kisame? Are you _totally_ sure about that? I'll go ahead and tell you now that I am. _Kisame: __**B-BUT..I'M NOT! **__Deidara: Oh, come one…just admit it, yeah! Kisame: NO ONE ASKED YOU, GIRLY-MAN!_

-Itachi, Kisame, and Orochimaru.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**And there's your first chappie! Awesome, huh? Remember now, kiddies, I NEEDS ME SOME MO' Reviews. And not just "that was graetlololol" I want QUESTIONS, DAMMIT! See intro chapter for details, Please and Thank you.**


	2. Let's hear it for Round 2!

**Woohoo! Let's hear it for round two! I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewd! You guys are too much rock for one hand!**

**Disclaimer – All Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. But Toasty belongs to me.**

**FYI, Tobi will always speak in the 3rd person (or whatever) in this fic, because it sounds cute.**

This is Zetsu's white side speaking (AKA White-san)

_**This is Zetsu's black side speaking (AKA Black-san**___

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Tobi, **

**What do you do when your bored? And what is your favorite snack?**

**Itachi and kisame, **

**What is your relationship together and do you guys share the same room?**

**And Deidara, **

**will please be my friend and make awesome art!! And if you need someone to talk to after everyone has made fun of you i'll be here! **

**-itachi-sama15**

Dear itachi-sama15,

Tobi- Tobi likes poking things and eating berries and crème starburst! Yay!

Itachi- _Everyone_ shares rooms with their partners. As for me and Kisame, our relationship is _strictly_ professional.

Kisame-**YEAH!** So stop implying that we _like_ each other!

Itachi- As a matter of fact, I- _Tobi: Hey, Itachi-san! _What? _Tobi: Remember the time Deidara-sempai dared Tobi to spike Kisame's drink?_ Uh…yes..I…do…._Tobi: It was so funny! Kisame was all like "Eh (hic) Itasheee..(hic) Why er yer close on fiyer? …(hic)…'ere, lemmee jus' take 'em off fer (hic) ya.."_ Tobi, Shut up.. _Tobi: Your face was red. Itachi-san!_ Tobi…shut up… _Tobi: It was like, a tomato, and-_ MANGEKYO SHARINGAN! _Tobi: (runs away)_

Deidara- Sure, yeah! I thought no one understood my way of viewing art. I'm glad someone does, yeah! (_squeezes_) Thanks, yeah!

-Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, & Deidara

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Everyone,**

**You all rock! Im a big fan of you all but mainly if youre paired up with Hinata-chan! DeiHina, ItaHina, LeaderHina, KisaHina, HidanHina, ZetsuHina, KakuHina, TobiHina, OroHina and KabuHina... in short I like all pairings with Hina-chan!**

**Questions...**

**Deidara: You all rock but yore my fave. I love art and explosions too! I think youre hot! umm... Did you ever thought of cutting youre hair? Just asking. I would kill myself if you cut your hair!**

**Itachi: Yo! um... Is it painful using Mangekyo?**

**Hidan: Jashin-sama rocks! (but i am christian so no-can-do) You're cool! Why dont the other Akatsuki members dig you up so you can come back?**

**Sasori: Which is your fave puppets? Dont worry Im behing your back! I dont like Yaoi pairings.**

**Tobi: Hi there good boy! so... who do you like the most among the akatsuki?**

**Zetsu: Cool! I like you! You have spilt personality like me! But my dark side doesnt show much... Nothing much for you except I brought you some dead Sound nin to feast on since they got on my nerves.**

**Kisame: Nice! I like youre bluishishness. I like swimming! Do you like swimming?**

**Kakuzu: You should get a safe! I heard someone was using your money to buy stuff. Get a safe!... that's all.**

**Leader: Hi! I like you! Youre all dark and mysterious! Can I join the Akatsuki? Oh yeah! Im a member of another group with the same name as yours! I have Deidara's position there coz we all love you guys! If you let me join Akatsuki you getting the Jinruuki's is 100 percent! Yeh! love you guys that's all.**

**Orochimaru: Hi! I want a cursed seal. Can I be a sound nin? if Leader-sama doesnt make me a real Akatsuki member coz I already am but not the real one. I love you as well! How's Kabu-chan? I love him as well! Hi kabu-chan!**

**Everyone: What do you think of Hinata?**

**P.S. Love you alls especially Hinata... I mean Deidara! Dont forget! Im a HInata centric fanatic! Cookies for everyone!**

**-dark-emo-gal**

Dear dark-emo-gal,

Deidara- Oh yeah! Score! See there, Sasori-danna, people like my art better that yours! _(sticks out tounge_) _Sasori- (scoffs)_ I wouldn't _dare_ cut my hair, yeah! _Some people_ think it's hot this way, yeah!

Itachi- It just strains the eyes a bit. That's about it. Not too painful, really.

Hidan- Wait…you like my religion, yet, you belong to a _totally different_ one? Hmm…strange…Oh well. You said you were Christian, correct? (_Scoffs_) That's a _pansy _religion. _Itachi: Hidan?_ Yeah? _Itachi: I wouldn't call the Christian faith pansy_. Why? What's the worst their _God_ has done? _Itachi: Their bible states that their God wiped out the entire population of Earth with a single flood_. ……………point taken….(Note: Sorry for preaching. Just wanted to make a point. I am Christian, but I'm not a foot-washer. Please excuse me) THOSE BASTARD BETTER DIG ME UP, DAMMIT!

Sasori- I think they're _all_ beautiful. But I'd have to say the Sandaime Kazekage is my favorite. As for the yaoi…..Can we…uh..please..not…bring that up? _Kisame: You know you like it, Sasori-san!_ GO TO HELL, KISAME! Will you do me a favor and **KILL KISAME?**

Tobi: Yay! Tobi likes everybody! But Deidara-sempai and Zetsu-san are probably Tobi's favorites!

Zetsu- Thank you. I've been rather hungry, but **why did you have to get sound ninja? they taste weird.**

Kisame- Thanks, And yes, I do like swimming. (I'm a fucking shark)

Kakuzu- -the HELL? JUST TELL ME WHO THE BASTARDS ARE, AND THEIR HEARTS WILL BE FUCKING MISSING FROM THEIR MOTHERFUCKING CHESTS NEXT TIME THEY COME WITHIN A 100 MILE RADIUS OF MY MONEY!

Leader-san- As much as I want the Jinchuuriki, I have no way of knowing that you're not a spy.

Orochimaru- Come and see me, and If you're worth it, I'll give you a curse seal. And Kabuto's doing just fine. Just a little flustered, is all.

Everyone- Who? Isn't that the girl who lusts after the Kyuubi child? _Toasty: (Shows picture of Hinata to Everyone)_ Oh…_Tobi: If Tobi said she was cute, would that make Tobi a pedophile?_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Leader,**

**Whos your favorite Akatsuki member? Least favorite? Who joined first (besides you)? Can I join? Pretty please? I'll give you muffins 3.**

**xFrozenx**

Dear xFrozenx,

I don't have a favorite. They're all idiots. If memory serves me correctly, I believe it was Kakuzu. Do you have _any idea_ how old that man is? See me in person and I may consider letting you join. (_and you better bring blueberry muffins. I swear, If you bring chocolate chip…_)

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Deidara,**

**Hey deidara, why is your pony tail so high up? Why dont you lower it or do it like itachi's?**

**-Samo450**

Dear Samo450,

Because I like it this way, yeah!

-Deidara

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear A.L,**

**I'm not a spy! also have you ever heard the german naruto opening? if not go to youtube and watch it!**

**Dear Deidara,**

**What do you do when someone asks if your a girl?**

**Dear Sasori,**

**You like Deidara hahaha!**

**Dear Hidan,**

**Between you and who hm? Tell me tell me! also kakuzu is selling your organs.**

**Dear Kakuzu,**

**i'm a tatle-tale FORGIVE ME!**

**Dear orochimaru,**

**fine we're know where we stand then**

**Dear flower-chan,**

**yes i really do want to see!**

**Dear Zetsu,**

**where you born like that?**

**Dear Tobi,**

**:D**

**Dear kisame,**

**(bat man theme song replaced words bat man with fishman)**

**Dear Itachi,**

**Can you tell me what happened in Jamaica?**

**-akatsuki's-fangirl**

Dear akatsuki's fangirl,

Leader-san- WHAT THE **HELL**! OH MY GOD MY EARS ARE **BLEEDING**! WHAT THE **FUCK** IS A SASOOOOOKAY?

Deidara- Sometimes I'll correct them, and sometimes I'll **blow their faces to fuck**, yeah.

Sasori- (_blushing_) N-NO I DON'T!

Hidan- Uh…eh…no one….WAIT (_record player screeching_) **HE'S DOING WHAT???**

Kakuzu- I swear to **god I SHALL PWN UR HEART!1111ONE**

Orochimaru- Hmph. I guess so.

Blue- (Evil laugh) MWHAHAHAHAH! TOO BAD!

Zetsu- Yes, I was. _**NO! I was mutated by toxic waste when I was 10!**_ A little late on the sarcasm there, black-san. _**Damn.**_

Tobi- :Dx1000000000000000000

Kisame- I feel _special!_ (_Starts prancing around in the manner of a superhero._) _Hidan: Yes, Kisame. You're very special (coughSpecialEdcough) Itachi: This reminds me of the time Tobi made us watch his homemade movie, __Radio versus Waterboy: The Movie.__ Tobi: Wasn't it great? Tobi's favorite part was when Waterboy used H20 power, then Radio blocked it with his shopping cart of justice!_

Itachi- Thanks a lot. I was starting to forget that little _incident_

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Orochimaru:**

**What do you DO with that tongue?**

**Kisame:**

**Do you dye your skin? If not, why did you become a shark-man?**

**Zetsu:**

**What is your favorite flower?**

**Deidara:**

**How do you feel about cats/kittens?**

**Sasori:**

**What would you/do you do if/when someone tries to hug or cuddle you?**

**-Triste Scarecrow**

Dear Triste Scarecrow.

Orochimaru- Many things, child. Many things.

Kisame- Oh my _god_. I didn't _actually_ think someone was going to ask that. NO, I DO NOT DYE MY SKIN, DAMMIT. I WAS BORN THIS WAY.

Zetsu- Cherry blossoms are nice, and _**WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?**_

Deidara- I like them, yeah. They also make good shapes for clay bombs, yeah. Someone will pick up one of my cute little clay kittens and it'll explode in their face, yeah!

Sasori- I would only let _one _person do that, and that's Dei-**MY MOM!**

**- **Orochimaru, Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, & Sasori.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**I've some questions that need answering NOW!!**

**To Tobi (who is tottaly adorable),**

**Are you Obito?**

**To Orochimaru (who is AWSOME),**

**Why do you choose Kabuto as your sex-slave over Kimimaro?! Kimimaro is way hotter then Kabuto!**

**To Hidan (who is HOT!),**

**Can I join your religion?**

**To Sir Leader (yea I got nothing),**

**Where do you get your portable darkness?**

**To Kakuzu (who is also HOT!),**

**Do you yaoi with Hidan?**

**To Kisame (I LOVE YOU!),**

**Is Suigetsu your son?**

**To Zetsu (plants are love),**

**Do you symbolize Ying and Yang?**

**To Sasori -drools-,**

**Do you preffer your ugly bad- body that you used to kick Kankuro's ---, or your cute one?**

**Blue haird... person...**

**Are you a girl?**

**And this is for all of you,**

**Do you bang your partner?**

**Yea, I love you all.**

**-SumGui**

Dear SumGui,

Tobi- Tobi's not sure…But Tobi's happy that you think he's adorable!

Orochimaru- Perhaps. But Kimimaro is a bit too _bony_ for me _Toasty: That was a horrible pun, Orochimaru._ No one asked you.

Hidan- Wow. You're like the 50th person to ask that. This is definitely going to go over well with Jashin-sama. Oh, and yeah, I know I'm hot.

Leader-san- Ebay. $6.95

Kakuzu- Do I WHAT? I SWEAR, IT'S JUST HORMONES, DAMMIT!…….(awkward silence….ehem…Why does everyone think I'm hot? I've always thought of myself as ugly)

Kisame- What would make you think that that brat is my son? And…I…love..you..too?

Zetsu- I suppose you could say that _**but wouldn't that make me (Black-san) a woman?**_

Sasori- Hiruko isn't ugly, but I must say I like being in my own body the best, for reasons that I'm not going to tell you.

Blue- (_looks down shirt_) …..sure….

Everyone…(_speechless_)…_Blue: YES! Peace at last! (goes off to read R-rated romance novel)_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Two Yaoi Loving Nekos has questions**

**Sasori what sorts of naughty stuff do you and Deidara do in bed ;).**

**Itachi what do you think about Sasuke's emo-ness?**

**Can you do a dirty --- dance?**

**Dei-kun what's it like having sex with a pupet?**

**Leader do you like llamas?**

**Hidan does Jashin dislike bunnies, kitties, and all the cute fuzzy animals?**

**Kisame was your momy a gold fish?**

**Kakuzu why do you wear a mask? Is it to hide an ugly face or a gorgeous face?**

**Zetsu what do you think of Pressident George W Bush?**

**Orochimaru who do you think is hotter Naruto or Sasuke?**

**Tobi do you think Kakashi is HOT?**

**-Two Yaoi Loving Nekos**

Dear Two Yaoi Loving Nekos,

Sasori- (_BLUSHNOSEBLEEDTWITCHBLUSH_)……..(_opens mouth to speak_)….(_closes mouth_)

Itachi- It gets on my nerves. Next thing you know he'll be _flipping his hair_ constantly and listening to _Hawthorne Heights_. And, uh…I _suppose_ I could, I tried….

Deidara- (_Blushes_) What are you talking about? I've never had _sex_ with a _puppet_!

Leader- YES! They're so pre-**I MEANT**.._Llamas_?

Hidan- Yes…Yes he does…

Kisame- Honestly, I don't know _what the Hell_ my mother is.

Kakuzu- Stitches….I'm hiding _stitches_…and from what I've been asked, I'm assuming it's a hot face.

Zetsu- Well, I really can't say..I mean, _**HE'S AN IDIOT! TOBI'S SMARTER THAN HE IS!**_

Orochimaru- Sasuke. You think the _only_ reason I wanted his body was because of the Sharingan?

Tobi- Uh….Tobi's not sure….

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Deidei-chan: I love you! sqee You're an amazing artist, and the scope on the left side of your face is a mechanical marvel! How does it work? How did it tap into the nerves? Is it annoying to have your bangs in your face all the time? Are you and Danna lovers? Do you mind all the SasoDei fanficcys out there? I think it's cute. Are you ok with yaoi/yuri? I think it's fine. Were you sad when Danna died? Did you cry at all? I did, and I didn't even meet him. Are you gay, or bi, or straight? I want the TRUTH, and don't avoid the question. Do you have a GF/BF? Do you love Itachi? Or Tobi? Or the 9-tail Jinchuuriki? Or Renji?...XD Jk...I just read that fic...um...I guess I'll ask everyone else stuff now.**

**Itachi: Do you love Deidara? Or Sasuke? Do you mind yaoi incest SasuIta pairings? I like some of them...Do you really hate fangirls? Why did you leave Sasuke-teme alive? Do you love Naruto Uzumaki? Oh, or Danna? Or maybe Kisame?...Or are you straight? Do you have a girlfried, if you are?**

**Kisame: Why are you part shark?**

**Kakuzu: Why do you love money?**

**Hidan: What exactly IS Jashinism, and what does it entail?**

**Sasori no Danna: XP I know you're "dead" so how does all that work? You're alive now, right? And do you love Deidara?**

**Leader-sama: Mr. Uzumaki, what was your wife's name? (I know she's dead, so DUH I can't kill her)**

**Zetsu: White-san, do you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend? Black-san, same question, but also, did you eat them?**

**Orochimaru: I can hardly bear to type your name, you creepy pedophile...I hate you. I hope you die...In fact, I'll assign you a cause of death, and since I'm feeling nice...Death by explosion. If I don't get there eventually, which I probably won't (duh...), Deidei-chan will kill you for bothering his Danna when you were his partner. Or maybe Sasuke-teme will just eat you or something. (I hope he does!)**

**Um...parting thoughts...all of you whom I don't hate, if you answer my q's and are nice, I'll give you a cookie. Toodles!**

**-Rosi-chan**

Dear Rosi-chan

Deidara-

Thanks! I would explain how the scope works, but that would take about 3 chapters all by itself, yeah!

No, it's not annoying, yeah

(_blushing_) Would you guys just stop that, yeah!

SasoDei? Fanfiction? (_goes to read one_) Oh my….(_still blushing_) **Stalkers**! You're all **stalkers**, yeah!

I'm okay with yuri, but yaoi?….Let's…not bring that up, yeah…

As much as I hate to admit it, I was very sad, and I did cry, yeah. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go gather up what's left of my pride, yeah.

Well, since your not gonna let me avoid the question, I'll go ahead and tell you, yeah. I'm…uh….I'm……I've never been turned on by a girl, but I'm not sure if I'm gay….I'll say I'm bi, yeah. No shame in that, yeah?

No, I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't love **ANYONE**. But If you made me choose between the ones you just said, I would say Renji, whoever that is, yeah.

Itachi-

Why are you pairing me up with almost the ENTIRE Akatsuki+ **SASUKE**?!?

I can almost see why you would pair me up with the Akatsuki, but **SASUKE**?

Yes….I _hate_ the fangirls..BECAUSE THEY PAIR ME UP WITH SASUKE! (_Toasty: I'm actually a KisaIta, SasoDei, SasuIta, ItaDei, TobiZetsu, BlueLeader, and KakuHida supporter. I'm being mean, aren't I?) _

You know, I was just thinking about the whole killing Sasuke thing. If, by any chance, he does kill me, I'll know that could have been avoided if I had just killed him when I killed the rest of my clan. _Damn._

Kisame-

Well…er…when a mommy shark and a daddy..uh..human..love each other _very much_..they.._Itachi: Kisame?_ Yeah? _Itachi: Stop._ Okay.

Kakuzu-

Because money makes the world go 'round! And what goes around, comes around, eh?

Hidan-

(_Hands Jashinist bible_) Knock yourself out, kid. Hope you like mass murder.

Sasori-

No. Still dead, as far as I know..and..uh….(_Avoiding last question_) What do you think about…puppets?

Leader-san- I'm NOT the Kyuubi child's father and I currently don't have a wife.

Zetsu- Nope. I've never had either. _**But I have..hehe..She was delicious**_.

Orochimaru- God, you're bitchier that _Tayuya_.

- Everyone.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Deidara: Alrighty, so since it's strongly suggested that you're with Sasori in this fic, I ask you: Have you ever tried Itachi? He can't be that bad. I mean, he isn't made of wood. :D**

**(DO IIT. 8O -pokes-)**

**Itachi: I read the question from Sheridan, and since you plead the fifth, I can only assume you studied foriegn cultures in NINJA school, and no one knew, and since you have such lovely, long hair, and you wear something resembling a man-dress, you are, in fact, gay.**

**Just wanted to let you know. And if you aren't gay, two words: MARY-SUE.**

**Kisame: If you ARE straight, are you a womanizer? You seem the type.**

**Orochimaru: I love you. ;0;**

**Erm... where did you get your hair done? It's so wonderful and fabulous. I want hair like pretty Oro-sama, plz.**

**Hidan: Were you just born sexy? Or did something happen? Does Jashin-sama make his followers sexy? Or does that come with being gay?**

**(Yes, you do a horrible job of keeping it a secret.)**

**Zetsu: If I were in front of you, right. Freaking. Now, would I taste good? I know the answer, so there IS a right and wrong answer.**

**Kakuzu: If I put a cow heart in you instead of a human, would you die, or start mooing and eating grass?**

**Leader-sama: I have a theory that you're God. Are you?**

**Tobi: Ninjas or pirates?**

**-Itachi/Deidaradammit!**

Dear Itachi/Deidaradammit!,

Deidara-

1. I'm not with Sasori, yeah.

2. I don't try people (_even though Itachi isn't bad looking, yeah_)

3. There is nothing wrong with Sasori's _wood-ness_, yeah. So what if he's _hollow-bodied_ and _lacking_ of most vital organs? _Sasori: Gee, thanks, Deidara._

Itachi-

Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. And I have no idea what a Mary-Sue is, but _obviously_ you're _jealous_ of my Beauty _Toasty: psst….ITACHI! Go..to…WIKI!_ Hn.

Kisame- You know, I try really hard, but no one seems to be attracted to my..eh.._shark-like_ features.

Orochimaru- Let's just say Vidal Sasoon is a _major_ player when it comes to the issue of hair.

Hidan- (_sticks tounge out_) I was _born_ sexy, and you will _**NEVER**_ be as sexy as me. _Tobi: You're bringin' sexy baaacckk_! AGH! _DO NOT WANT._

Zetsu- I..eh… _**can I buy a vowel?**_

Leader-san- I am whatever you perceive me to be.

Tobi- Pirates! Tobi loves Pirates! Like Captain Jack Sparrow! Savvy?

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Dear Awesome Akatsuki Ppls:**

**Deidara-san, we loves the explosives, yep. - Soo...You share a room w/ the infamous puppet. Sasori-san got any...secrets we loyal fans should know about?? D**

**Sasori-san, puppets rock too. Um...so, we hear your eyes are hazel...-y...or something. Is your hair hazel or something too?! I mean, geez...there's only like a milion pics of you out there w/ different color hair. It's crazy. O o; ...Dei-chan got any more kawaii habits, un? lol**

**Tobi-san, my sister likes you. You're cool, yes. But, you're also one of Kishimoto-sensei's characters. Do you have any unknown angst moments nobody knows about? 'Cause you need to be hugged if so! As a matter of fact...All ye (WE) angsting critters out there need hugs! Which I usually hate, but still! hugs everybody**

**Kakuzu-san, I think we've heard you can sew pretty well. Truth or not?? Also...How old are you, if you'll forgive me? You've seen the years go by, huh? How many stories must your threads have seen...**

**Orochimaru-san, are you some pedophillic weirdo or something? Cuz this one thinks you are, sorry. ..And, are you in any way related to Michael jackson?**

**Leader-sama, how is it dealing with these (awesome) crazies every day? If you ever need a break...heh...I'll "sub" for you! X3**

**Hidan-san, tell me more of the ways of your Jashin-sama? Please.**

**Ever-so-cool unnamed person-Okays...your hair is blue, right?? Uh...not the point, but u kno...Kishimoto-sensei says you might be a guy! but there's still a chance you're a gilr! I thinks...? Any comments?**

**-Kiryami**

Dear Kiryami,

Deidara-

Yeah! That's weird, because, I've always truthfully thought that Sasori-Danna's art was better, but I haven't once heard any of you question-askers say that his art is better, yeah. Apparently, you all like my art better, yeah!

Sasori latches on to the closest thing when he's sleeping ,yeah (_I found that out the hard way_)

Sasori-

HAH! SEE THERE, DEIDARA?

I have Auburn-Red hair. End of story.

Deidara sleep-talks and secretly has a _stuffed rabbit_ named…_Mr..Sprinkles._

Tobi-

YAYAY! TOBI HAS A _GIRLFRIEND_! _Deidara: No you don't, yeah._ Aww….

Angst? Tobi isn't sure, but Tobi still wants hugs!

Kakuzu-

Yes. I do sew well. And I lost count of my age a **LONG** time ago.

Orochimaru-

Michael…Jackson? Who in the world is that?

Leader-san-

It's rather hectic, really.

As for the substitute issue, some _sociopath_ already beat you to it. Don't you just hate being the slowest sociopath?

Blue- Comments? Well…I can't say too much right now. We've got a bit of a canon-ness issue here. _Tobi: Got an issue? Here's a tissue!_ Please go away.

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Itachi: Have you ever considered eye surgery if your sight gets too bad?**

**Kisame: I know what you did last summer with Itachi... and I have pictures!**

**Hidan: You are awesome! And my friend want your sythe! Shall I restrain her?**

**Kakuzu: I... where's my wallet?**

**Deidara: How do you put up with Tobi? Do you at all? (I like art, the boomy kind! )**

**Sasori: Do you know you are dead? And I know you love Deidara.**

**Tobi: Good boy! Who do you like the best in the Akatsuki?**

**Zetsu: What does human flesh taste like?**

**Orochimaru: Cool. I can ask you stuff. Is that eyeliner your wearing or...?**

**Leader-san: Boxers or briefs?**

**Unknown: You have a fan.**

**-Voltra the Lively**

Dear Voltra the Lively,

Itachi-

If my eyesight ever got in bad condition, I would _like _to have surgery, but the Akatsuki is on a _very _tight budget. I blame Kakuzu.

Kisame-

How much do you want for those pictures? (_nervous laugh_)

Hidan-

Restrain that child, or I will be forced to sacrifice her to Jashin.

Kakuzu-

(_Innocently_) _Wallet_? I have _no_ clue what wallet you speak of…

Deidara-

………..

………..

….**NO**..

Sasori-

Yes. I am _well _aware that I am, in fact, deceased. _Avoids last comment_ Uh…yeah…who..wants..cupcakes?

Tobi-

**GOOD BOY, YOU SAY? WHICH TOBI IS ONE OF AM!**

Tobi _loves_ everyone!

Zetsu-

It taste about like _**YOUR MOM.**_

Orochimaru-

No. I'm afraid I was cursed by being born with makeup-like markings on my face.

Leader-san-

(_evil snicker_) Boxers (_Leader+Boxers+Bob Seger music+Tom Cruise conceptWIN_)

Blue- I have **LOTS** of fans.

-Everyone

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Itachi: What would you do if I threw a bag of cheetos at you?**

**Kisame: Why do you have gills? And look like a shark? Seriously, it's not natural.**

**Deidara: You talk funny, yeah.**

**Sasori: If you had to spend forever with someone and not be able to kill them, would it be Tobi on crack or Naruto drunk?**

**Hidan: Why are you undead in the first place?**

**Kakuzu: No offense, but wouldn't you die from transplanting hearts into yourself?**

**Zetzu: To Black and White: Grey's better.**

**Leader: I found your flower nose ring. And I have pictures of it. Fess up, or the nearest yaoi shop is getting photoshopped pictures of you and Gai. Guess what's happening in the picture.**

**Flower-Chan: Zetzu watches you sleep.**

**Orochimaru: Has your tongue and Deidara's tongues ever done it? Sasori says you have.**

**-Halli05**

Dear Halli05,

Itachi-

First, I would kill you with the Mangekyo, then I would eat the Cheetos.

Kisame-

What's you people's problem with asking me about my genealogy? MomShark Demon, DadHuman. Any more questions about my lineage?

Deidara-

Stop mocking me……………………………………………….._yeah._

Sasori-

Tobi on crack. Tobi's so _weak_ that the crack would eventually kill him.

Hidan-

Uh…I know…._people_…

Kakuzu-

Not if you know how to do it right.

Zetsu- I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinions, although _**GREY SUCKS**_.

Leader-San-

_Holy hell_. **THOSE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DESTROYED!**

Blue-

Wha-? He **DOES**? _Leader: (angrily) Zetsu. I'd like to have a word with you._

Orochimaru- I don't even _know_ Deidara. Sasori: I did **NOT** say **ANYTHING** like that. Reveal your sources!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Well, that's all until next chappie! If I didn't include you're question in this chapter, I promise it'll be in the next chapter, KK? If there are any MAJOR mistakes in the fic, please PM me, alrighty?**


	3. ALERT! PLEASE READ!

**ALERT! PLEASE READ!**

**I've decided to discontinue this story, so I'm going to answer all of the unanswered reviews, and leave it at that. So please, no more reviews. Thank you.**

**-Toasty G.**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-


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